Passion trumps love for sex in relationships


Men initiate sex over thrice as usually as ladies liquidate a long, heterosexual relationship. However, previous analysis shows that sex happens much more usually whenever the lady takes the initiative, suggesting that it’s the lady UN agency so sets the boundaries to a bigger extent than men do.

Psychologists at NTNU have investigated what alternative factors play a job for the frequency of intercourse in couples in long relationships.

Two factors area unit decisive in however usually ladies take the initiative the least bit.

Attitudes to casual sex

Women’s attitudes to casual sex play a serious role, which can appear strange initially look once talking regarding sex in long relationships. as a result of we’re not talking regarding extrapair affairs.

“This life describes what proportion ladies distinguish between the sexual aspects of a relationship and its relative and emotional aspects,” says prof Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair at NTNU’s Department of science.

Women UN agency tends to be a lot of receptive casual sexual relationships differentiate between positive, physical aspects of sex and relative and emotional aspects of a relationship to a bigger extent. A quarrel regarding the dishes or UN agency vacuumed last could so not be as crucial as to whether the couple has intercourse.

Often, whether or not one has sex or not could be a compromise between the parties, and ladies’ UN agency differentiates a lot of between sex and alternative aspects area unit in all probability a lot of willing to compromise. Men area unit able to mate to a way bigger extent, no matter his attitudes.

But the woman’s perspective too short sexual relationships, her sociosexual orientation, isn’t the sole issue.

Got to have passion

“Passion within the relationship is of nice importance for intercourse frequency,” says postdoctoral fellow Trond Viggo Grøntvedt at the Department of science, UN agency is that the 1st author of a recently printed article in organic process behavioral Sciences.

The psychologists at NTNU thought-about many factors in their study, like however happy individuals area unit in their relationship, however, committed they feel to their partner, however intimate they’re, what proportion they trust one another and also the love between them.

All of those factors actually have their smart sides. however, it is not as easy as there is a lot of sex simply because of the couple love and trust one another. solely the fervor within the relationship will facilitate predict the frequency of sex.

“Passion is truly the sole one amongst these factors that matters. we have a tendency to did not realize any association between any of the opposite aspects and the way usually individuals mate in couple relationships,” says Grøntvedt.

The study enclosed ninety-two couples aged nineteen to thirty. Relationships varied long from one month to 9 years, with a mean of just below 2 years. The couples had sex 2 to a few times per week on the average.

The desire for others reduces passion

The longer the link had lasted, the less usually the couples had sex. And one alternative thinks about explicit reduces the frequency.

“Love could be a commitment mechanism, and there’s less passion and want in a very relationship if a partner is a lot of curiosity about others,” says Kennair.

“Strong sexual fantasies regarding others than the partner do not combine well with passion within the relationship,” says prof Mons Bendixen, additionally at the Department of science.

Only women’s attitudes decisive

“The most outstanding finding is probably that it’s solely the woman’s attitudes to casual sex that have an effect on the frequency of sexual issues,” says Kennair.

However, the findings might not apply to all or any cultures, Bendixen notes. They primarily apply to societies with a lot of gender equality and feminine sexual management.


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